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—Reviewed by Robert Bensen, Editor of Children of the Dragonfly: Native American Voices on Child Custody and Education, The University of Arizona Press
Pushing up the Sky, published in 2006, has been widely anthologized and was featured at the 2012 Tucson Festival of Books.
Goodreads
Pushing up the Sky, published in 2006, has been widely anthologized and was featured at the 2012 Tucson Festival of Books.
Goodreads
—Reviewed by Bill Drucker, Korean Quarterly
“As
a 19-year-old unmarried college student Terra Trevor found herself
pregnant. A social worker counseled her it would be easier to find
adoptive parents for her baby were she not Native American. She
miscarried before deciding whether or not to place her baby for
adoption. Twelve year later and after giving birth to a daughter, Terra
and her husband adopted a 1-year-old boy from Korea. When their son was 3
and their daughter 6, the family adopted a 7-year old girl from Korea.
After she'd been with them a few hours their new daughter informed them
she was actually 10. "Make sure she understands that we want her, and
that her age doesn't matter," Terra told her new daughter through a
friend who served as an interpreter. Written with abundant love, this
book is an honest account of the challenges of integrating an older
child into an established family. It is also about building community
with Korean American culture and with other adoptive families. And
finally, the book becomes a journey to save a son from cancer. The
author's sensibilities toward the natural world and all that really
matters in the lives of her children put her on the level of a great
teacher of the capacities of the human heart. Sad but triumphant,
‘Pushing up the Sky’ deserves a wide readership for its great
story-telling and lyrical use of language.”
—Reviewed by Alice Evans, Holt International
“Terra
Trevor has woven a moving story of love and heartache across time and
culture. She has integrated her own American Indian culture into the
dynamics of transracial adoption and described in detail life in a
transracial family that has not been done before to this extent. Her
courage to describe these events with great honesty bears witness to a
family that provided warmth, encouragement and humor in the face of
adversity.”
—Reviewed by Phil Capper, Adoption Australia magazine
"If you have ever felt your journey through parenting has been complicated, reading Terra Trevor’s memoirPushing up the Sky may leave you thinking your experience has been simplicity itself in comparison. A “mixed blood” Native American, Trevor and her white husband had one biological child before choosing to complete their family through adoption. They adopted from Korea twice: one infant with medical needs, and one older child. The resulting memoir contains enough material for several books: on transracial, international, special needs, and older-child adoption, as well as coping with the loss of a child to terminal illness. As a Native American, Trevor brings a new voice to the topic of transracial adoption, which traditionally has been written about only by white adoptive parents. She reveals this unique perspective when she writes: “Growing up in my family I observed a lot of denial of being Indian by some of my family members. At times I felt part of me was missing, and the part of me denied became more important than the parts of me that were clearly defined. This was the main reason I decided it was important for [my children] to grow up with the opportunity to be surrounded with Koreans and Korean Americans. They could reject an Asian identity if they wanted, but I wanted them to feel at home with what they were rejecting.” (page 80)
In the first half of her book, Trevor recounts the warm friendships and expanded cultural awareness that grew out of her involvement in the local Korean church, travels to Korea, and hosting a Korean family.Pushing up the Sky could have benefited from some gentle editing, but it is worth pushing past the occasional confusing or perfunctory passage to share this mother’s story. The account of Trevor’s adoption of an older child is also unusual in adoption literature. Eleven years old when she arrived in the United States, Kyeong Sook did not make an easy transition to life with her new family; in fact a year after she arrived, Trevor traveled with her to Korea.Trevor writes of this rare move: “It was a risk, and I knew it, yet I also knew we had to deal head-on with her desire to return to Korea.” (page 45)
Kyeong Sook chose to return to the United States, but her relations with her adoptive family remained troubled, and she left home shortly before turning eighteen. Trevor patiently shares wisdom gained from years of family therapy, insights into loss, grieving, abandonment and attachment, but this portion of her story resolutely resists a “happily ever after” ending, and she is candid about the relief she felt, mixed with deep sadness and guilt, when her daughter left home.
The illness or loss of a child to death are more familiar literary topics, but in the second half of her book Trevor covers them from the perspective of her unique family situation: one child dies, two remain living, yet one is estranged. Trevor remains active in the Korean adoptive family community, and within the Korean community, even as her own status as an adoptive parent continues to shift and change. It might have taken a whole other book to do justice to this chapter in her life. Yet in the end, one can see why Trevor wished to weave all the aspects of her maternal experience into a single story, one that reflects the complexity of real, messy life."
—Reviewed by Michele Rabkin, Pact
Terra Trevor shares her family’s story, as it unfolds from the birth and adoptions of their children, more than 20 years ago, to the present day. Trevor’s story is no fairy tale, but she writes courageously and honestly about each difficult aspect. When their biological daughter was six and their son, adopted from South Korea, was three, Trevor and her husband decided to adopt a second, older child from Korea. The 10-year-old they brought home had a difficult transition to life in a new family and country. Trevor shares her own struggle to understand and love this child during the adjustment period and, later, to remain committed to her through a turbulent adolescence. Amid the ups and downs of this tale, Trevor tells the story of loving a son through a losing battle with cancer, and then finding her way through grief to a life that is once again satisfying and whole. Written from the perspective of a woman who straddles a complex ethnic and racial heritage, the story is suffused with issues of race, culture, identity, loss, and gain. Trevor is half Native American, and she writes about her own exploration and incorporation of that heritage into her sense of self, while simultaneously figuring out how to weave her adopted children’s cultural heritage into their family. Pushing up the Sky is about a real family facing real challenges, and it’s not a happily-ever-after story. It is a remarkable tribute to the power of family.
—Reviewed by Jane Brown, Adoptive Families Magazine
